On Bosses

One of the strangest parts of any new job is getting to know your new boss. One of the strangest parts of my job is how infrequently I have any contact with my bosses. We have a manager and an assistant manager, and with there being three different stores with managers' offices in a separate area, it is sort of a hit or miss as to whether you ever see them.  The assistant manager looks like a suburban soccer mom on the outside, but on the inside, I believe she is a soulless (and slightly passive-aggresive) robot. Luckily, I have seen her a total of twice since I have actually started working there. The manager is a lanky Scottish guy who is probably pushing 40. He thinks himself a bit of a ladies' man, I think, and is charming in that sort of dirty-hot way. The accent helps quite a bit, I'm sure. The worst about his accent though is that anytime he talks to me, I have to concentrate very hard to not repeat his accent back to him (offensive!) and afterwards I think to myself in a Scots brogue for the rest of the day. Amusing, but slightly disconcerting. We see him more often, and unfortunately he has developed an ability to always pop in when I am either not busy or not really doing anything. Thus, I have convinced myself that he thinks I am a lazy lazy wanker. 

Yesterday I was rearranging some shelves (actually doing work!) when he came up behind me and embarked on an awkward conversation. As I have worked myself to paranoia around this guy, I kept hearing things in his conversation that I'm sure he wasn't trying to put out there. So when he says: "So, haw're ye liking the joob?" I hear "...because ye're doing a shite job at it and I'd luve to can ye." When he says "One of the things ye've got to leern is how to pace yerself," I hear "Instead of sittin' on yur arse, get up and do something." 

This made for one of the most awkward 15 minute conversations I've had in a while, and left me sweaty and muttering to myself in a Scottish accent for the next couple hours while I wandered the store and tried not to look like the lazy arse I really am.